Category: Angel’s Life

March 12, 2014

Our little sweetheart turns TWO today.  Unbelievable!  I started writing Olive’s birth story to share here (which I’ve never done!) but I’ve got cupcakes in the oven and lots of chores and emails to handle so it will have to be posted anther day!

Today, I wanted to share another love note to my little girl.  Hope you don’t mind.  😉

then

now!

My dearest Olive,

Happy birthday baby!!  I simply can’t believe you’re two years old.  Well sometimes I can.  I honestly cannot imagine life without you so in some ways, I feel like you’ve always been with me.  But most of the time I’m in a state of shock as time whizzes by and you keep getting bigger and lovelier by the moment.

Since you won’t remember much of anything of yourself at this age, let me tell you all about you at two.  You are a complete and utter joy to me and your Daddy.  You are so full of life and energy and laughter.  You love to dance and run and jump and play. You could go down the slide at the park all day long (and sometimes you do).  The swings still aren’t your favorite, though.  No matter how often you ask to be put in them, it’s only three or four swings before you abruptly tell me that you’re finished with them.  You love the beach and the sand and you aren’t afraid to get dirty.  You’ve helped me loosen up about this, too.  😉  You love shoes and you are constantly pointing your shoes out to strangers when you meet them in the store.  “Shoes! Shoes!” you excitedly exclaim as you point down at your sparkly Toms or shiny boots or Saltwater sandals.  When we get dressed in the morning, you love picking out the perfect pair for the day (although I admit I often steer you away from the patent leather dress shoes and toward the sturdier options).  You are an incredible talker and chat with us all day long.  You have an extensive vocabulary and surprise us with how well you can repeat things back to us after hearing them only one or two times.  You are sensitive and empathetic.  When you see me wince or even cry (as you did recently), you come over with furrowed brows and say, “No cry, Mommy.  It’s okay!”  You hug me tightly and rub my back and kiss me until I show you my smile.  I thank God for giving you such a sweet nature and kind spirit and I know you will share so much love with others as you grow older.

You are daring when you’re with Daddy — you can jump off of anything if he’s within arm’s reach and love to rough house with him.  But you find a few things frightening, like Ursula on the Little Mermaid ride at Disney’s California Adventure.  You declared that “too scary” and buried your head in my chest until the ride was over.  You are a great eater and have never been picky.  Even if you refuse something (to test us?), you will try it when sternly asked and almost always ask for more.  I love watching you devour a bowl of Japanese-style pork curry or my homemade Thai coconut-lemongrass soup (tom kha gai).  Despite our initial efforts, we caved and have let you watch a little bit of media here and there (on Netflix or on the iPad in a desperate situation).  Your favorites are Peppa Pig and the Leap Frog learning videos, so we lucked out there.  You also adore Dumbo and the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  You love music and always want me to sing to you, or with you.  You can sing “Let it Go” and “Do You Wanna Build a Swowman” from Frozen and Daddy and I die laughing when I say “Go away Anna!” and you hang your head and say “Okay bye….” like in the song.  It cracks us up that you can already “act” and get the meaning behind the words we’re singing.  You also love singing “Baby Mine” from Dumbo and “Jesus Loves Me.”

You love your extended family and have a great group of local and hometown friends.  I am thankful that you are growing up alongside so many wonderful kiddos.  We are blessed by our community!  Your closest friend is probably Jetta from church, and you get uncontrollably excited whenever you see her.  I love seeing the two of you girls together!  Although you have always been pretty social, you’ve been a bit more clingy with me lately.  I know it’s just a phase so in the meanwhile, I’m enjoying the extra snuggles and cuddles.  I hope that even when you’re older, I can be a source of comfort for you, turning your eyes and heart to the great Comforter, our God.

Olive, you have turned our lives upside down in the very best way and we thank God for you every single day.  We pray as a family at bedtime each night and I still get choked up thinking about how long we prayed for you.  The fact that you are here now, for us to hold and laugh and learn with… it is such an amazing blessing and joy.  As you grow older, I pray you will come to know our Lord and I pray that your Daddy and I will be strong examples and encouragers to you.  As you graduate from babyhood, I think it’s only natural that I have been wondering if God has a sibling in store for you.  I catch myself being fearful or anxious about how life will/would be if you were an only child.  I know these worries are fruitless.  Although we are praying daily for another little one to add to our family, I hope you always know that you are so special and precious to us.  I know that whatever the Lord decides for our family, it will be the best.  For now, I will continue to strive to pour out my heart and energy and love into your life.  I know I will make lots of stumbles and mistakes along the way but know that I will always do my best.  Whenever you read this, I hope you can get just a glimpse of how loved and treasured you are.  You are such a gift, sweet Olive.  I love you with all my heart and everything I am.

xoxo, Mommy

—-

I hope you’re all having a wonderful day; I’m off to frost some cupcakes!  See you again soon!

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March 10, 2014

Last week was such a wonderful week, filled to the brim with outings and meetings and celebrations!  I have lots of posts to share but for now, I thought I’d sum up the activities of last week in one teaser post.  😉

1) We took Olive to Disneyland (her very first time) with our friend Jackie and her sweet baby X.  It was an amazing day and I can’t wait to tell you all about it.  Her Mickey encounter was picture-perfect!

2) I had a first meeting with a sweet new bride and we had so much fun chatting and planning that we had to schedule a second meeting later that week because we ran out of time!  I am truly grateful that I get the privilege of working with such smart, creative, kind-hearted clients.

3) I had a long overdue girls’ night out with two of my favorites: Mara and Eden.  We had the most scrumptious vegan + organic fare at Gracias Madre (highly recommended!) and more importantly, lots of laughs and great conversation.  Isn’t it the best when you can sit down with friends and feel like no time has passed since your last meeting?  Can’t wait for our next outing!

4) In 2010 I had the exhilarating and joyful experience of helping very special clients (now dear friends) plan their weddings here in LA and Taipei, Taiwan.  Last week I met up with them for a day full of meetings as we plan their extra-special vow renewal!  (They were technically married in 2009 — this year is 5 years!)  I am doing the planning and am collaborating with my fab friend Tori on the design which means double the outrageous detail and style!  We have a seeeeerious dream team in the works that includes Siren Floral Co. (I totally fell in love with Rachael after meeting her last week!), Braedon Photography, Heirloom LA, Elysium Productions, and many more to come.  Hold onto your hats for this one; it is going to be BEYOND.

just a few of the yummies we tasted at Heirloom LA

brian, tina, me, and Nicolette of Heirloom!

5) I turned 30 years old (woohoo!) and spent most of the day just hanging around with my family, doing some shopping and relaxing.  We had a delicious family dinner (my sister and brother-in-law surprised me and drove through rush hour traffic to join us!) and I felt so loved by all the texts, calls and messages I received that day.  Thank you to everyone for making my day so memorable!

shopping and Umami Burger at The Grove

my sis, Olive, me

6) And on Saturday… my sweet husband threw me a surprise birthday party!  I will admit that I knew something was up… He isn’t the best at keeping secrets (that’s a good thing!) and he was just acting odd.  I am not the easiest to surprise, either.  I could not have imagined what he had prepared with the help of my sister and brother-in-law (who opened up their beautiful home to be the hosts!) and my BFF Kristin (who prepared amazing flowers and decorations).  It was SO much fun!  I was shocked by all the sweet pals who made the trek to join in on the festivities.  I sure am blessed by my friends and family!!!  I can say that my 30th birthday was my very best yet, and if that’s any indication of the year ahead, I can’t wait for it all to unfold.

Today was a family work day in the garden as we visited 2 nurseries to pick up plants for our two large planting beds.  I love all the beautiful flowers and shrubs we picked out and I can’t wait to do the planting tomorrow.  Our vegetable garden is looking lovely; everything has sprouted and it is so neat to see some of the crops already looking like their mature forms (like the adorable bean sprouts and multicolored mesclun lettuces).

I’m going to grab a cup of coffee, finish clearing out my inbox and hop into bed early-ish.  We have another packed week ahead and if you can believe it, a very special little girl turns TWO in just a couple days.  I know, I know… I don’t want to admit it either!  🙂

See you again soon!

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February 27, 2014

This is going to be kind of embarrassing but let me first say that no, we did not go to Sydney recently.  You may recall that our family went to New Zealand and Australia in the middle of 2013.  I slowly but surely blogged our New Zealand north island highlights in three parts: Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3.  Now, nearly 8 months after we returned, I am getting around to posting about Sydney.  Yikes!!  But, I do believe that in blogging, late is MUCH better than never.  Let’s jump into it!

I had been dying to visit Australia since I was a child.  I had all these dreams and visions of kangaroos and boomerangs and the Opera House.  I wanted to put shrimp on the barbie and what not.  😉  Well once we knew we were going to New Zealand last year, we knew we had to take advantage of flying halfway around the world and make a stop in Australia!  We could only stay for 5 days after our extended time in NZ (we were also in the middle of escrow at this time; we literally had the notary greet us with paperwork when we got home from the airport!!!) so we decided to stay in Sydney the entire time.  I’m hoping that we can take future visits to Melbourne, Perth and beyond!

In those 5 days, I felt like we were able to soak up quite a bit of the major attractions in Sydney.  First and foremost, I have to tell you that our trip was truly anchored by the incredible hotel we stayed at: the one and only Park Hyatt Sydney.  It is a world renowned 5 star property that sits right on the Sydney Harbour in the Rocks and is pretty much the opposite of the type of place Erik and I would typically stay.  Thanks to the incredible generosity of my parents and their coveted Hyatt Diamond status, we were able to experience the phenomenal luxury and hospitality of this hotel.  I told Erik over and over that I couldn’t believe we were staying there!  Our room was modern yet warm and had a private balcony perched right over the harbour.  We were fortunate enough to be staying during Vivid Sydney (a light festival) so we had the most spectacular views each evening.  We began each day with breakfast on-site in the Dining Room.  Imagine beautiful glass-doored fridges stocked with fruit platters and bowls, yogurts, cheese and meats, and stations with artisan breads, freshly baked pastries, nuts, cereals, juices, etc. We sampled different hot entrées everyday as well.  The service was impeccable and we were treated like royalty by everyone on property.  I have to give a special thanks to Jonathan, the debonair hotel concierge, who always had the best dining recommendations and truly made our stay in Sydney complete.

I could write for ages about our trip but for the sake of simplicity, I’m going to dump a bunch of photos here and comment along the way…

the magical view from our room on the first night in Sydney // we were in awe.

Olive enjoyed the view as well 😉

the rooftop pool was gorgeous but never dipped a toe in it — it was winter in Australia!

view of the Opera House from the walking path on the Harbour Bridge

we did lots of strolling // Sydney has so much gorgeous architecture!

We took in some culture at the Art Gallery of NSW

We meandered through the lovely Royal Botanic Gardens.  My favorite was the fernery!

We tried not to laugh (or offend anyone) while visiting the Museum of Contemporary Art

A view of the Harbour Bridge from the Opera House

We took a guided tour of the Opera House and were so enchanted by it, we couldn’t resist getting tickets to a show that evening!

One of my fave photos from the entire trip!

The concert that evening featured Saint Saëns symphony No. 3, so their organ (the largest in the world) was played that evening.  I’ll never forget the experience.

The sails of the Opera House (and the façades of most buildings downtown) featured funky changing light projections each evening.

We visited the Sydney Aquarium and Olive’s mind was blown.  We had never seen her so excited about anything before!  To this day, she still loves and is fascinated by marine life.

There’s one more Australia post coming soon.  😉  It was fun to relive some of these moments now, so many months later.  Olive looks like such a baby!  I am so grateful we were able to take this special trip as a family and make treasured memories together.

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February 15, 2014

Hello everyone!  I’m sorry it has been quiet around here lately; I set a goal of finishing my taxes this past week and hooray — I made it through!  They are off to the CPA this week and it feels so good to have them off my shoulders.  😉

Did you all have a great Valentine’s Day?  I know some people aren’t crazy about V-Day, but I’m a fan.  I get that most holidays are driven by consumerism.  I get that love should be celebrated everyday.  Still, I will gladly take an excuse to remind those in my life that they are precious to me.  I took the time to write handwritten Valentines to some gal pals this year and the process made me feel so blessed to be surrounded by so much love myself.  Most importantly, I reflected on the love of my Savior — my first love.  I love because He first loved me (1 John 4:19).

This Valentine’s Day was so much fun for our family.  Olive and I started the day at the cutest party with some friends.  Thank you to the hostess with the mostest, Alexandra, for putting together such a thoughtful and creative party.  You could see she put so much heart (pun unintended but I’ll take it!) into all of the details.  We all (moms and kiddos alike) had a great time!  In the evening, Erik took his girls to dinner and dessert.  Olive was well-behaved and had so much fun with us that I don’t regret having her crash our date.  I am deeply grateful to be married to a man who is such an amazing father as well as husband.  It was our 11th Valentine’s Day together and I truly love him more today than ever before.  <3

Here’s a glimpse of our day…

Olive’s Valentines for her friends

sweet treats from the other mommies, including Alexandra’s yummy strawberry butter!

homemade strawberry coconut milk — SO good!

matching heart sunnies?  check.  People who know me know that I’ve been wearing heart sunnies for well over 5 years–they’re sorta my thing.

the babes!

lauren & me & alexandra (hostess!) // I’m cracking up here because Olive wouldn’t let go — she wasn’t happy I was taking a photo without her.

Alexandra had us make these adorable crafts for the Dads — it features Olive’s hand and footprints.  Erik loved it and it’s going straight to his office.

We went out to dinner as a family and then stopped at the beach for frozen yogurt.  It was a sweet and simple evening together and it couldn’t have been better.

Thank you all for reading; I love YOU for the support and encouragement you send my way.  See you soon!

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February 3, 2014

Happy Monday everyone!  I knew I wanted to write a catch-up post today and I realized that I already did a “life lately” in January… only a couple months ago.  It didn’t feel right putting February in the title, since most of these photos are from last month so… there ya go.  😉  Here is a glimpse of what we’ve been up to around here…

Daddy made a new mailbox (refinished this Saddlerock wine barrel for the base!) and Olive had to inspect it

Girl dates at Sally Loo’s!  This one with some sweet college girls and another one with the lovely & talented Jennifer Young.  Great conversations accompanied by yummy açai bowls = my favorite.

roasting lots of veggies

planning and prepping for 2014 clients!

waking up with the sun to workout (who am I??)

dipping our toes in the sea

chartreuse ladybug sighting (we match in our dots!)

beach time with some pals and their mamas (Olive was not in a picture-taking mood, even with the treats in her mouth) // loved catching up with Ally and April and their girls

Olive loved hanging at the park with Boden — aren’t they precious together??

This pic is my fav, though — she is literally falling off the back here.  haha  (Don’t worry, she was fine.)

Me and Boden’s mama, the multi-talented Jess Wilcox

coloring with my girl // can you tell which side is mine?

our hellebores are starting to bloom!

wallpaper weekend!  Erik put up my dream wallpaper, Cole & Son ‘Woods,’ in our bedroom.  I can’t wait to share the final result with you all!

a quick snap during breakfast yesterday; I wanted to capture the length of Olive’s hair when it’s all down.  I love this sweet pic of her profile, too.

splashing in the rain yesterday, as encouraged by Daddy.  She got soaked and loved every second of it!

Things have been great around here; busy with all good things!

Hope you all have a wonderful week!  I have a sweet client coming to town for some meetings so I can’t wait to finally meet her in person (yay!) and get down to business planning for her oceanview wedding.  See you soon!

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January 27, 2014

I have to write this post today, before I forget the details of the precious, beautiful, fleeting moment I experienced last night with Olive.  So yes, I’m kicking off the week with a very personal diary-style post and I hope you don’t mind.  😉

Yesterday Olive woke up with a sniffle and a runny nose.  She still greeted me cheerfully as I walked into her room to get her.  I got us ready for church and off we went.  At that point we weren’t sure if she had allergies or a cold, since she didn’t have a fever and it was just a clear runny nose.  Just a couple hours later, however, we could tell she wasn’t feeling well.  Her eyes were watery, her nose was still constantly dripping, and she had begun to both sneeze and cough.  Her afternoon nap was normal, but she continued to cough after she woke up.  It broke my heart every time I heard that rumbly chesty cough come out of her, or watched her try to wipe her nose in frustration before I swooped in with the Nose Frida (mamas know what I’m talking about!).  No one wants to see their baby sick!  We had a lazy afternoon and unremarkable evening.  I just focused on keeping her hydrated and snuggled up.  And then it was bedtime.

Typically we change Olive into her PJs, brush her teeth, and walk her through a simple bedtime routine that includes turning on her Sleep Sheep and Ladybug Constellation night light and then praying together as a family.  We place her into her crib tired but awake, and she snuggles in without a peep.  We call out that we love her and close the door.  And that’s it until morning.  It is pretty incredible that she has always fallen asleep easily and without much of a fuss.  I am grateful for it, of course, but I would tell my mama friends that I often wished she would fall asleep in my arms or let me rock her.  There are some nights that she literally wriggles and leaps out of my arms into her crib after we say, “Amen.”  She is *that* eager to get to bed and *that* comfortable doing it on her own.

So last night, it was different.  Last night I could see that Olive was having trouble breathing with her nose because she was so stuffed up.  Erik prepped her cool mist humidifier and I gave her a soothing nighttime bath.  She was getting drowsy.  I got her into her PJs and wrapped her up in a blanket and then went back into the bathroom.  I turned on the hot shower water and sat down on the closed toilet lid, my two year old “baby” bundled up in my arms.  She didn’t struggle.  She didn’t wriggle or ask for “night night.”  She just stared up at me, straight into my eyes.  And as steam filled the room, I started to rock her.  I started softly singing “Twinkle Twinkle” to her.  But she looked up and quietly said, “Jesus Loves Me.”  I couldn’t believe it.  I’ve only been singing the song with her for a few days and out of nowhere, she was requesting it.  The words also seemed like a simple statement from her lips and the power behind it just blew me away.  I started to sing the song, still rocking her, room full of steam.  She started to drift to sleep, her eyelids fluttering, but when she tried to keep her eyes open they were fixed on me.  The last thing she said before she fell asleep was, “Jesus.”  I lost it, guys.  I totally began to cry, voice creaking, warm tears landing on her little shirt (gratefully she was wearing an undershirt so I don’t think she felt my raindrops, haha).  It could have been the cloud of steam or the veil of tears, but for a moment I honestly saw her as a baby.  I literally saw her closed eyes and peaceful sleeping face as it was when she was a tiny baby.  And in that moment I felt so unbelievably grateful.  And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I also felt a twinge of sadness.  I thank God everyday for my beautiful daughter and yet I also feel that pull in my heart, that desire to hold too tightly, that secret wish for her to stay little forever.  I pray I never cling too tightly; I pray that I always see her for what she is — a child of God, a tender soul to shepherd and guide and love and instruct.  A gift entrusted to me.

I told a friend today that motherhood has changed me in every single way, and for the better.  I have learned so much about myself since becoming a mother and I know I will continue to be stretched over the years ahead.  At the moment of Olive’s birth, something in me switched… something put in motion from the moment I knew I was pregnant with her.  I have learned so much about God since having Olive, too.  I can glimpse a tiny bit of the love of the Father for us in the way I love her.  It is incredible to ponder.

After gently putting Olive into her crib last night, fast asleep and heavy in my arms, I went to bed early with teary eyes, just relishing and reliving the precious moment I had just experienced.  It’s funny that one of the first things I thought was, “I need to write this down before I forget!”  I so desperately don’t want to forget these simple little moments that mean so much to me.  I am truly so thankful for the reminder I was given last night — a moment to slow down, savor her “littleness” one more time (as it rapidly slips away), a moment to thank God for the long-awaited answer to prayer that is my baby Olive.

me and my olive // 7 weeks old

Thank you for letting me share a bit of my heart here today.  <3

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January 23, 2014

Today my wonderful husband celebrates his birthday and although he is not one to make a fuss over it (no fear of getting older, just a genuine nonchalance), I had to put up a simple post for him.  🙂

at olive’s 1st birthday party!

napier, new zealand

For me, a birthday is about celebrating someone’s life and the contributions they make to your own.  Here is a little thankful list for my Erik:

  • He loves the Lord with all his heart, mind, soul and strength and it shows in everything he does.
  • He doesn’t have a lazy bone in his body and works so hard at his job/ministry as well as on projects around the house.
  • He’s utterly hilarious and makes me laugh on a daily basis.  He’s a kid at heart.
  • I don’t know a more organized, tidy, clean man.
  • He has a generous and compassionate heart.
  • He’s gorgeous.  ’nuff said.
  • He is a man of unwavering convictions and I know I can always look to him for godly advice and encouragement.
  • Erik is good at everything.  No really, it is ridiculous how naturally everything comes to him — from chess to intense games of strategy to biking to fishing to kayaking etc. etc. etc.  He picks things up with ease and masters them swiftly.  Swoon!
  • Along those lines, he is brilliant and studious and knows so much about so many topics.  Most importantly, he is saturated with the Word and serves as my walking Bible commentary.  😉  He is humble despite his wealth of knowledge and is always willing to share, instruct, and teach.
  • Erik absolutely adores Olive and has an incredible tender love toward her. It melts my heart and I know she will grow up feeling so secure in and blessed by the love of her father.
  • There is no pretense with him.  I love his authenticity.
  • He loves me wholeheartedly, despite my flaws and shortcomings.  He cares for my heart and soul.

taronga zoo in sydney, australia

<3

He is simply the best man I know, and I am privileged to walk beside him in this life.  What a blessing!

Erik — Happiest Birthday to you, my love!  I hope your day is full of joy as you are reminded of how loved you are and how many lives you touch.  I can’t wait to see how God continues to use you in the years ahead.  I love you with all that I am. xoxo

I hope you all are having a great afternoon; I’m getting ready for date night with the birthday boy!

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January 21, 2014

Hello everyone!  I thought I’d drop in with a quickie post amidst a busy January week.  I am SO excited about all that in store for 2014 and the past couple of weeks have been filled with preparations and meetings and a wedding!  Yes, we kicked off our 2014 season on Saturday with the wedding of a dear high school friend of mine.  It was a beautiful day and a great way to begin our ninth (!) full season of weddings.

Recent happenings…

venue scouting with these lovebirds from London

squeezing in bedtime snuggles with this girl

multiple midnight car rides (I always drive while she can sleep) back and forth

crashing the birthday celebration of Jewel of {found} vintage rentals (FYI, Jeni makes the most INCREDIBLE chocolate chip cookies)

I savored this passionfruit pavlova donut from Sidecar Doughnuts.  You guys — it was INCREDIBLE.  It has a passionfruit glaze, fresh whipped cream, a little fluffy meringue and fresh passionfruit purée.  It tasted even better with sweet company from my pals Carissa, Christina, Carlie and Lindsay.

striking chandeliers at Dorothy Chandler Pavilion — site of our first 2014 wedding!

joy and laughter with my love and splendor girls last weekend!  we missed you, michy!!

Enjoying every second with this rapidly growing toddler!  Love this casual snap of us (thanks Lourdes!).

My fun tasks for the week: booking a steel pan band for a seaside wedding, sending out a set of summery save-the-dates, planning a vegetarian menu for an intimate vow renewal, putting together a design packet for a California chic wedding (think Mediterranean casual luxury, monochromatic blooms, fresh herbs and farm-to-fork inspiration), and organizing the final set of images for my BRAND.NEW.SITE and blog!  Yesterday my incredibly talented friend, Julie of Julie Song Ink, sent me the final version of my new logo/brand.  It is so utterly beautiful!  I am dying to share it with you all but I am waiting until the new site is ready to be unveiled along with it.  My current site hasn’t been updated in five (yes, five!) years so I am looking forward to debuting a fresh look and some never-before-seen work.

Love you all and am grateful for you!  Enjoy the rest of the week!

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January 8, 2014

Hello everyone!  I hope you’re all having a wonderful start to your week — the first full week of 2014!  The energy and excitement that surrounds the New Year is still coursing through my veins; I am truly excited for the year ahead.

I have to start by saying thank you for the incredible response to my last post about my most recent miscarriage.  I never could have imagined the response I received; it was overwhelming.  Within *minutes* of posting, I received texts and Facebook messages and comments and emails.  I heard from friends and family (who still had no idea about what had happened) as well as former clients and even strangers — people who read my blog or who saw my post on Facebook via one of our mutual friends.  I was covered with so much love, encouragement and prayer and it truly blew me away, moved me to tears, filled me to the brim.  I also was heartbroken to hear so many similar stories from people around me, most of whom had suffered in silence on their own fertility journeys.  I am still trying to reply directly to everyone who sent me a note but please know I read every single word and am praying for you all!!  The response to my post (to date, the most popular post on my blog, ever) was so astounding that it reaffirmed me in my decision to share here.  I truly believe God used my struggle for good in this way, and I am humbled to have been used to encourage any of you in some small way.  My strength and peace through the entire ordeal comes from God alone so I give Him all the glory!  Thank you again for supporting me here; I feel immensely blessed by each of you.

Without further ado, I felt like it was time to get the blog back up to speed with a little Christmas recap.  I know I’m not alone in deeming Christmas the best time of year: I love the reflection and remembrance that comes with Christmas, as well as the warm family celebrations.  We began with a traditional Christmas Eve service at our church, followed by a drive to LA to spend the holiday with our families!

Olive and her friend, Jetta, in their Christmas dresses at church!

Christmas mantel!  // stockings will make their debut next year

our tree // 2013 (and yes, I totally moved the banner from the mantel for this pic)

We woke up on Christmas morning at Erik’s parents’ home and opened presents in jammies, per tradition.  This year Olive actually participated in the opening of her gifts, as well as jumping into the piles of paper and ribbon and tissue.  I loved watching her excited face and hearing her exclaim, “Wow!” when she unwrapped a new present.  I can only imagine how she’ll be next year!  With age I also hope we can instruct her more about the meaning behind Christmas and our reason for celebrating the greatest gift.

me and my new California-shaped cheeseboard from Erik // love it!

After opening gifts, we headed to my mom & stepdad’s house to have our Christmas brunch.  My mom created another beautiful mostly-vegan meal with a lovely salmon provençal as the main dish.  We then opened presents with them and relaxed for a few hours before heading back to Erik’s parents’ home.

the princess on her throne!

red velvet dress and patterned tights by Oilily / brown cardi by peek / boots by Osh Kosh

scrunch noses!

Dinner was a scrumptious lasagna (we often do Italian food on Christmas, especially Christmas Eve for the festa dei sette pesci) with all of Erik’s extended family: cousins and aunts and uncles and their kiddos!  Olive was overjoyed to spend time with her cousins and second cousins, too.  I loved watching them together.

The next day, we saw my Dad and exchanged gifts over decadent pancakes — yum!  We spent the rest of the afternoon playing our beloved German boardgames with Erik’s sis and her fiancé!

It was a packed few days but we had a wonderful time seeing everyone.  I will also share a few fab finds from Christmas in a future post.  😉

I hope you have a lovely Wednesday; see you again soon!

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January 2, 2014

This is a post I never planned to write.

In yesterday’s new year post, I alluded to some painful trials in 2013.  I didn’t mean to be so cryptic when I wrote that, but I hadn’t decided how much, if anything, to share about the topic.  This morning, however, I decided it might serve as some encouragement to any women out there who may be facing the same difficulties and sorrows.  So here it is: just a few months ago, I experienced the loss of a pregnancy.  Let me go back in time to give you some context.

pregnant with Olive // photo by Jose Villa 

After many years of struggling with infertility, I first got pregnant in early 2011.  I was over.the.moon.

Erik and I went out for a celebratory dinner the night I took the positive test, chatting excitedly about how we would share the news with our families.  We were overjoyed about this long-awaited answer to prayer.  Shortly thereafter, however, I learned that my hormone levels were plummeting and I was miscarrying.  It was absolutely devastating, and experiencing that deep pain after years of infertility seemed especially unbearable.  I told Erik I wasn’t sure if I could continue trying to get pregnant, since I feared the pain of recurrent loss.  But God had other plans.  Just one month post-miscarriage, I conceived my daughter Olivia Iris, aka Olive.  And here she is today, almost 2 years old (!!!), having changed me in a million ways in that short time.  I thank God every single day for my daughter.  I will never forget the years of tearful prayers, the pleading for just one child, the fruitless wondering if I would ever become a biological mother.  When I see my daughter, I know that the pain that preceded her arrival taught me invaluable lessons.  What a blessing she is.

my newborn Olive // march 2012

We continue to hope and pray for another child, but know that ultimately it is God who gives life.  Not long ago, Erik and I learned I was pregnant for a third time, and we were ELATED.  I cried tears of joy.  We made sneaky plans to tell our families on Christmas morning.  I marveled at the fact that our kids would have exactly the same age gap I have with my sister.  I thought about how I might need to shift things in my fall wedding schedule with a baby on the horizon.  But then…

Pains turned to concerns which turned to some bloodwork which turned to… tears.  Another miscarriage.  While I hadn’t told anyone I was pregnant, I suddenly felt like I had to tell a few people about the painful ordeal I was facing.  It seemed to help release a bit of the pain.  I told my mother, my sister, my best friend and a few other close friends.  More tears, but more prayers as well.  Encouragement.  Reminders of God’s faithfulness.  Reminders of His sovereignty.

So here I am.  Not pregnant.  Not sure if there is another little one in our future or not.  But I am at peace, a peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7).  I know that God’s plans are perfect and that even in painful circumstances, His will is not thwarted (Romans 8:28).  In the darkest of hours, I have been comforted by God’s word (Psalm 34:18 and Matthew 5:4).  The love and support I have received from friends and family in this time has been immeasurable; it has reminded me of all of the blessings I already have in my life.

Although I don’t typically write about ‘tough’ things on this blog, I hope that this post might encourage even one person out there who is dealing with loss.  There is hope even in the darkest circumstances, and I can hold on to that hope to find unshakable joy.  I have been stretched through this trial and I am thankful for that.

I hope you’re all having a great Thursday!  Thank you for stopping by to read this deeply personal post; I’m so blessed by your love and support!

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