Dearest Erik…

I thought when we knew what love was, when we got married in 2005.  We were college sweethearts, recent college graduates, quivering with excitement to start our lives together.  Everyone might have thought we were crazy (a few were bold enough to tell us to our faces), being so eager to marry so soon after graduation.  You were the brilliant engineer, I was the promising law student.  We were going to live in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in a semi mostly shady neighborhood and we were going to thrive on pure love and trust in God’s plan for our lives.  We just wanted to be together.  I loved you with everything I had.


And in our first year of marriage, we turned things upside down, didn’t we?  I dropped out of law school, you quit your job and went back to school, you got your job back part-time, I started planning weddings out of nowhere.  After everyone around us recovered from the initial shock, we settled into a groove and we were so happy.  We moved out of said-shady apartment and into another.  I thought we knew what happy was as we worked long but fulfilling hours, both of us doing something we hadn’t expected but savoring every moment.  We traveled and saw exciting places together, adding stamps to our passports and memories in our hearts.  We were young and free and able to follow our passions.  God blessed us abundantly and though we lived modestly, we could only see cups overflowing.  We prayed that one day our family would grow.


photo by Jessica Claire

And we prayed, and prayed and waited and waited.  We experienced pain and trials and ups and downs.  With every heartbreak, we overcame and we grew closer to God and each other.  And then, of course, Olive arrived.  And I thought I finally could say I knew what love was… what happy was… what bliss was.  I felt my love for God and for you and for this baby girl multiply and grow until I could barely contain it.  There were moments (still are) that I couldn’t hold back my immense joy as gratitude appeared in the form of warm tears spilling down my cheeks.  I thank God constantly for how He has blessed us, how He has taught me so much in our marriage.

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photo by Ryan Ray

Today I know better than to assume I am an authority on love.  I know love only because God first loved us.  And as I grow in my knowledge of Him and His love, I grow in my ability to love.  As we have experienced the heights of jubilance and the depths of sorrow together, we have become increasingly knit together as one.  Our love is growing with us.  Our joy is growing with us.  And all I can say I know now is that I love you much more than ever before.

I love you more than I could have even fathomed eight years ago.  As I grow and mature, I see you in new ways.  And I love everything I see.  I love you for all of your amazing strengths: your fierce love of God, your wisdom, your patience, your intelligence, your compassionate heart, your humility, your tenderness with our daughter, your quick wit and the silliness reserved for only me.  And I love you even for the areas in which you desire growth, where I can glimpse your desire to be stretched and molded more and more into the image of Christ.  You inspire me and bless me on a daily basis.

I thought I loved you eight years ago when I said, “I do.”  But now I know more truly, more than ever, how deep my love goes.  Thank you for all that you are to me.  yours, Angel

**Thank you for indulging me this personal post today!  Hope you all had a wonderful Tuesday!

Comments (12)

  1. anna: August 6, 2013

    Wow. Tears are literally falling. I Love you both! Happy anniversary!!

  2. Sally: August 6, 2013

    Beautifully written!! Happy anniversary!

  3. molly: August 6, 2013

    This just made my day. Your words are perfect and I am so so happy for you both! 8 years is no joke! God is so good!

  4. Amber: August 6, 2013

    So beautiful … Hard typing thru the blurry tears! Love you my friend!! Congrats & many more! Xo!

  5. kristin @ petal and thorn: August 6, 2013

    what a beautiful message to your man! happy anniversary, you too! seems like just yesterday you were telling me about your first “date”.

  6. Angie: August 6, 2013

    Angel! You are so sweet and this is so beautiful. So inspired by the love you two share and your faith. Happy happy happy 8 years!!!!

  7. Tina Yang: August 6, 2013

    So beautiful! Happy anniversary!! xo

  8. Kay: August 7, 2013

    What a beautiful post!
    My husband and I are celebrating our first wedding anniversary today.

  9. Hannah @happilyeverlyafter: August 8, 2013

    What a beautiful love story. thanks for sharing! Hope you two had a wonderful anniversary! Such a beautiful family!

  10. diana elizabeth: August 9, 2013

    Aw Happy Anniversary! The lives you live individually and the life you have together really are such a great testimony to the world! xoxo!

  11. michelle: August 9, 2013

    such a sweet message, angel, and i know you are being completely heartfelt and honest with your words. that’s the best part. i adore you both and the family you have created. xo

  12. skippee: August 12, 2013

    You have such an amazing little family! Hope you had a wonderful anniversary! We are celebrating our anniversary this month too! I didn’t know you went to law school~ I did too! =P

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