Here are the highlights from month 14 with our baby girl:

• We celebrated our nephew Alejandro’s 5th birthday in Pasadena, and Olive  had so much fun chasing the “big kids” around!
• Uncle Ryan Ray and Auntie CC were in town and we had a great time catching up with them!  She loves them both so much and we wish they lived next door.  I can’t stop daydreaming about a trip to Texas to see them…
• I can feel more teeth coming in (those dreaded first year molars) and know they will be here SOON… But no actual new breakthroughs before her 14-monthday (hint hint).
• Grandpa Paul (my dad) came to visit and we continued with our traditional southern breakfasts when he’s in town.  :)  When I was growing up, my Dad would take me out for southern breakfasts at the now defunct Po’ Folks Restaurant in Buena Park (near Knott’s Berry Farm… does anyone remember it??), or Johnny Reb’s or George’s 50′s diner (I knew it as Terry’s growing up, but George was the cook back then and now he owns the place!  So cool!) in Long Beach.  Breakfasts were our “thing” and I always wanted pork chops or chipped beef for breakfast… with a large chocolate milk.  ;-)  I love that we are continuing to share special indulgent breakfasts with Olive, although she’s sticking with pancakes, eggs and bacon for now.  My Dad always wants to spoil Olive rotten so I do my best to hold him back.  It does melt me, though, watching him push her through Target and ask her, “Do you want this one?  Do you like this dolly, Olive?” and then trying to convince me that she really wanted that one, and he can tell because she pointed at it and said “baby!”  haha
• We visited beautiful Justin Winery in Paso Robles to prepare for a photo shoot, and returned a week later for the shoot!  Olive loved running throughout the Chateau and courtyard.
• Erik went on a backpacking trip near Big Sur (Salmon Creek) and Olive and I had a little mommy-daughter weekend, visiting the farm, binging on berries, reading the same books over and over, and cuddling together.
• We learned that cardboard boxes are the best toys.
• Halmunee (‘Grandma’ in Korean: my mom) came to visit and we had such a lovely time!!  She made Olive lots of food and doted on her for days.  They have such a sweet bond and it is heartwarming to watch them together.  I kind of died over the sight of them both in their straw hats at lunch one day!  (see below) Although my mom was here as our guest, it humbled me to see how much I still can use her help.  She was a great blessing to us while she was here!
• Olive’s 14th month-day coincided with Mother’s Day.  After church, we visited Los Olivos (and Enjoy Cupcakes) and then took a leisurely trip to Home Depot.  haha! Olive’s favorite part of the day was running free up and down the wide aisles — the girl LOVES wide open spaces.
• She continues to chat up a storm and I am surprised daily when she clearly repeats or articulates some new word.  Her current vocab includes about 20 words and the new ones this month are: puppy, flower, cookie, cracker, and “A-B-C-D”.  We’ve been showing her alphabet flashcards for months but only recently have we tried singing her the alphabet song on a regular basis.  She sometimes says “A-B-B-D” but I’m gonna count it.  ;-)
• She’s an expert climber and has now wriggled her way up onto the couch, although she still prefers to be helped up.

It was a busy month with more guests but we truly love hosting friends & family here!  Now we are full-speed ahead into the next month and I know it will be an unforgettable one…

Dearest Olive,

I used to tell you “slow down” as in, “don’t grow up too quickly.”  Now I just mean, “slow down!” literally.  ;-)  You are a boundless bundle of energy.  Halmunee jokingly said we’re in trouble because you have both verbal energy (our little chatterbox) and physical energy.  One thing is for sure: we are in for a lot of excitement with you around.  I thank God everyday that you are healthy, active, and joyful.  I don’t want to take that for granted.  I am grateful for your kindness to friends and strangers alike; it still cracks me up to see you waving at people while we’re shopping.  You won’t stop waving and smiling until you’re acknowledged.  I pray you always have a warm and inviting demeanor, spreading love wherever you go.  Everyday with you is a gift and we love chasing after you.  That doesn’t mean we aren’t going to work on teaching you to “come” when called, though (because it’s on the list this month, seriously…haha).  I just love watching your beautiful spirit blossom.  You know, Daddy and I prayed and prayed for just one little baby for so long.  I feel selfish now, so blessed with you (oh lovely YOU), still praying for more kiddos.  Even if we never have another baby, you will be more than enough.  You have been the answer to our prayers and deep desires and you are more than we could have dreamed of.  Until God blesses us with another (and even if He never chooses to do so), we will cherish every precious moment with you.  We love you, baby girl… more than you know.  Love, Mommy

And here is our 14-month photo recap:

I hope you are all having a great start to your week!  Thanks for stopping by!

This week has been a blur of errands, emails and appointments!  One thing that remains constant, however, is Olive’s current obsession with reading.  I hope her love of books is more than a stage, of course!  It’s just that these days, she can’t get enough of them.  She is constantly bringing me (and Erik ) various books to read to her.  I love when she waddles over to me and plops herself on my lap, snuggles in, and looks up at me as if to say, “Okay already, are you going to get to it??”  Her current favorites include Let’s Dance, Little Pookie, Mister Seahorse, and Puppies… which is really a picture book with a bunch of dog photos!  haha  In Puppies, there is a tiny maltese named Toby and whenever we get to his page, Olive leans forward and plants a kiss on him!  Melt my heart!!  I think Erik knows that a maltese puppy is in the future one Christmas ahead… ;-)  Although I’m sure I sound and look hilarious while I’m reading aloud to Olive, it is absolutely worth it.  I love getting into character and watching her eyes widen and her face crinkle up in delight as I read to her.  I’m never going to be too old or too busy to get silly with my little girl!

 Does anyone else know the Pookie Shimmy??  I feel like I sing it 10x a day!

I have a lot of half-written posts in the queue so I will be spending some time this weekend preparing posts for next week.  Remaining consistent with my blog posts is a big goal, so I truly appreciate all of you who stop by to read and comment.  ;-)  In addition to writing, my weekend will consist of purging & organizing my closets (a LOT more to sell on @shopangelscloset on Instagram, if you’re interested), having a Skype consultation with some potential clients, and swinging by Barnes & Noble to read up on our fast-approaching trip down under.  So excited!!  I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, whether restful, productive, or both!  See you next week with Olive’s 14-month post and more.  ;-)

mother’s day 2013

We started the day at church and I served in the nursery.  There was a visiting family with a young boy (about 2 years old) and he initially had a hard time adjusting to the nursery, surrounded by unfamiliar faces.  He took to me for some reason and I spent most of the service just holding him.  He actually fell asleep in my arms (so sweet!!) and woke up content to spend the remaining time playing with Olive and his other nursery-mates.  It reminded me that although I am not his mother, I can nurture and love other children as my own.  For many years before I had Olive, I longed so much to be a mama.  I want to send a special encouragement to any of you out there who may be in that circumstance now.  I fervently pray that God will open the doors for you to become a mother soon, but urge you in the meanwhile to love on the kiddos around you in your life.  There’s lots of love to go around!

After service, I grabbed our customary Sunday lunch on the way home: In-N-Out burger, of course! We scarfed it down quickly since Olive had fallen asleep in the car, and then we drove out to the charming town of Los Olivos.  Erik took me to get my favorite Enjoy Cupcakes (yum!) and I devoured the pistachio lemon chardonnay + banana lemon creme treats.  We walked around a bit (truthfully we were just chasing Olive around town as she excitedly ambled about, greeting everyone in sight) but the unseasonable heat had us headed home early.  ;-)  We then spent some time browsing the aisles of Home Depot (hilarious, I know… We are both fixated on home stuff right now!) before having delicious Korean food for dinner.  Toward the end of the day, Erik had Olive hand me “her” mother’s day card.  Erik, being Erik, had helped her pick out a card that was for encouragement (not Mother’s Day…haha!) with a chihuaua and a dumbbell on the front.  Inside it said, “You’re stronger than you know.”  I just about died of laughter!  He also helped Olive write me a sweet note and she signed her name with her own hand.  I’m not gonna lie — I was impressed with her penmanship.  ;-)

photo via @enjoycupcakes on IG — love Amber & Kevin and their incredible cupcakes!

All in all I had a lovely day with my little family.  I got exactly what I had hoped for: some time out of the house with my two favorite people!

Before I sign out today, I wanted to share my excitement about my new bag.  I was on the hunt for a knitting bag but wanted something large enough to double as a travel tote or carry-on.  I discovered Piggledee on Etsy and followed the links to Asako’s blog.  I was instantly SMITTEN with her beautiful creations.  She makes backpacks, totes, knapsacks, zippered pouches and more, all using beautiful fabrics, many of them in quirky Japanese prints!  The bags can be used for tons of purposes, including cosmetic bags, travel bags, pencil cases, changing pads, washcloths, reusable lunch bags, diaper bags and more…  Although I’m not a cat person at all, I couldn’t resist the whimsical kitty print in grey for my big tote.  I also added a large zip pouch to use for cosmetics when I travel, and for my notions when I’m knitting.  ;-)  I found it hilarious that I was ordering a travel bag for my trip to Australia from a seller who is based in Sydney.  Oh, irony!  Asako is also a fellow Cal grad (Go Bears!); it was fun to learn we had so much in common!

I just received my bags yesterday and I couldn’t be more pleased with them.  They are well-made and beautifully constructed.  Asako herself was a pleasure to work with from start to finish, and her kind communication and speedy shipping were much appreciated.  I can’t wait to revisit her shop and pick up many more goodies in the future!  Today I am thrilled to giveaway TWO of her fabulous pouches!  The winner will win BOTH a large grey cat print zippered pouch, and a slightly smaller pink cat print pouch.

To enter:

1. Like Love and Splendor on Facebook
2. Comment below and let me know what you’d use the pouches for if you won!
3. If you follow this blog on Bloglovin’ and/or follow me on Instagram, mention it in the comment for extra entries (1 each).

You have until Thursday, May 16th at 9 p.m. PST to enter.  I’ll announce the winner this Friday, the 17th!

Thanks for stopping by; see you again soon!

my mom pregnant with me!

Motherhood has been an immense blessing in my life.  I feel incredibly humbled to have the responsibility and privilege of raising up my daughter.  From the pregnancy to the delivery, to those first whirlwind months to these most recent blissful days, I have soaked up every bit of this precious time in my life.  But what I’ve realized lately is that motherhood is forever…  It’s not just now, when my baby is still a baby, relying on me for her every need.  It’s five years from now, when I walk her to school and wave goodbye and try to hold it together.  It’s seven years from now when I comfort her after a hard day on the playground with not-so-friendly peers.  It’s ten years from now when she goes to junior high and asks me to wear mascara (and I say NO. haha).  It’s sixteen years from now when she graduates from high school and picks a college (not-so-secretly hoping she attends the alma mater of her parents, UC Berkeley).  It’s twenty-some years from now when she’s walking up the aisle on the arm of her father toward her future spouse.  It’s answering her questions about how to make that chicken dish or get that stain out or face the fear of childbirth…  It’s thirty, forty, fifty years from now when we spend moments together talking, reflecting, laughing, sharing life.  

How do I know this?  It’s because my mom was here this week and do you know what I saw?  She loved on my daughter, even spending most of one day babysitting her while I worked on a photoshoot.  She woke up early (even though she was OUR guest) to make us ridiculous breakfasts.  One morning Erik literally brought his plate out to me (I was still in the bedroom getting ready) to show me the beautifully presented meal she had prepared for him.  She dusted the stairs and mopped my kitchen even though I told her not to — she knew it would bless me and it did.  She made Olive baby food and put it in the fridge so I’d have it on hand for busy days ahead.  She brought me bags full of Korean groceries that I can’t get locally.  We stayed up late watching Korean dramas and planning for our trip  to New Zealand and Australia in a few weeks.  We had heartfelt conversations about the past and the future.  Multiple times this week I thought to myself, Wow, this is what it means to be a mother.

Growing up, my mom gave us the very best of everything she could.  We didn’t have much, but what we did have was disproportionately given to me and Anna.  She worked hard as a single mother to put herself through school, taking on multiple jobs at times to make ends meet.  There was a period that we were so poor that after paying all our bills she had $20 left for us to buy groceries each week.  We lived on fish sticks and macaroni and peanut butter sandwiches but I honestly can’t remember that.  I knew my mom loved me and that was what mattered.  When I was about 13 she started her own company and became a shining example of the American dream.  Although many people only know of my mom as a successful businesswoman, we had very humble beginnings.  Her road was paved with many difficult circumstances and situations. But despite her success, she still lavishes us with love and care and serves her family with passion. She is not above getting down on her hands and knees to clean or waking up early to cook if it’s for her family.  If Anna or I really needed something, there is nothing she wouldn’t do to help us get it.

on her wedding day in 2008 — photo by trista lerit

When I was a baby, my mom cloth-diapered me because she thought it was what was best, despite the extra work.  When I was five, she had already taught me to read and write and I skipped 2 grades because of her dutiful instruction.  When I was seven, she consoled me after hard days with not-so-nice kids.  She made me feel important.  She took me to Gap and bought me nice clothes off the sales rack because she didn’t want me to feel inferior to the other kids.  I was always well-dressed even if we were getting things on clearance.  When I was in junior high, she definitely didn’t let me wear mascara (although I sometimes used hers anyway!).  We prayed as a family every single night for most of my childhood — I will never forget listening to her heart-wrenching prayers as she cried out to God in our darkest hours.  When I was in high school, she gave me a crazy curfew and held her ground even though I whined about it, and it kept me out of trouble.  When I graduated from college, I moved away from home but she still called me daily and flew me home constantly when I was homesick.  She sent me extra money when I was foolish with my allowance.  She supported me when I married my college sweetheart at 21, even though she wasn’t ready to see me go.  She watched me struggle to get pregnant, cried with me when I had a miscarriage, and rejoiced with me when I finally conceived Olivia.  She answers my incessant phone calls about how to make her favorite dishes and how to wash delicate garments and how to soothe a teething baby.  She will never stop being my mother; she will never stop mothering.  You know what?  Through good times and bad (and trust me, there was a lot of both), my mom has always been unwavering in her devotion.  She loves fiercely.  She gives sacrificially.  She is servant-hearted.  As I now mark my 2nd Mother’s Day, I am reminded more than ever that I have a lot of room for growth.  I have a lot I can learn from her example.  I can excel still more.

circa 2001 — high school senior or college freshman

Umma — Thank you for being an amazing mommy.  I could never fully & adequately thank you for your love, sacrifice, wisdom, encouragement, support, and advice over the years.  Your love for me is humbling and when I consider everything you’ve done for me, and still do for me, I am moved to tears.  I know what it means to love sacrificially because I have watched you love me and Anna through the years.  Even when we have been unlovable, you have loved us.  You deserve to be praised in the gates (Proverbs 31:31).  I hope to be as devoted a mother to Olive as you have been to me.  I love you with all my heart and I thank God that you are my mommy (and Olive’s halmunee).

mom and a 3-month old Olive — photo by Ryan Ray

I also want to take a moment to send love & appreciation to my mother-in-law, Delores, who is a such a charming, vivacious and loving woman.  I have known her for 10 years and she has treated me like family from day 1.  Thank you for raising Erik to be an amazing husband to me and father to Olivia.  <3  And thank you for all of your love and support through the years!  I am blessed to have you in my life!!!

To all my mama friends (in real life and on the web!): I am grateful to be surrounded by so many wise and loving mamas.  It is such a joy to walk this journey alongside you & I thank God for your examples and encouragement!

Today I’m starting my day at church and then will see where Erik takes us!  I honestly don’t care where we go or what we do, as long as I’m with my little family.  :)  Thank you for letting me share a bit of my heart today; see you again soon!

I worked on a lovely + romantic shoot at Justin Vineyards + Winery with a phenomenal team that included Allyson Magda, Casa de Perrin, Adornments, Laura Hooper Calligraphy, La Tavola Linen, Kirstie Kelly, Jess Wilcox and the lovely Leila from Be Inspired PR.

I went and got one of those drive-in carwashes and it was simultaneously terrifying and serene.  I think I need a re-do now that I can anticipate the ‘action’ and enjoy it a bit more…

My mom came to town and brought me bags and bags of Korean groceries and homemade banchan (side dishes).  Soo blessed!

And my heart exploded a dozen times as I witnessed these two sharing moments together.  They have a connection that is just so sweet to witness.

I saw this marvelous sunset in Paso Robles and was reminded of what an artist my great God is.

I chowed down on some oysters + sushi!

… and had the loveliest lunch at Thomas Hill Organics that included this kale salad and a delectable goat cheese sandwich with strawberry-beet jam, kumquats and basil!

And best of all, I giggled a lot with this girl…  This was during bathtime antics with Daddy.  Yes, I still bathe her in our kitchen sink (it’s big) because it is a lot easier than getting down on the ground on the tile bathroom floor!  ;-)

It was a sweet week indeed!  My weekend will include some client consultations, a quick visit with friends, and of course, my 2nd Mother’s Day!  (You can see a glimpse of my 1st mother’s day with a tiny 2 month old Olive here.)  I’m truly grateful for my precious little family.  Becoming a mother has been an amazing journey marked by so much personal growth.  I want to send my love and encouragement to all the moms out there; you are amazing and I hope you feel especially blessed this weekend!  See you next week!

This past weekend, Erik went away on a little backpacking trip.  He and two elders from our church went up to Salmon Creek, near Big Sur, and hiked up into the forest and stayed overnight.  (Looking forward to joining him next time — we can’t wait to take Olive on camping adventures later this year!)  Olive and I kept busy to distract us from missing him.  (It didn’t work, but we tried!)  As I was tidying up in the kitchen, I looked over to see that Olive had crawled into a box (it was from the camping gear Erik received earlier that week).  She was clearly pleased with herself, just grinning and giggling in her cardboard “boat.”  She got in and out of that box a dozen times, bringing small items (like my belt and her dolls some passengers) with her on each re-entry.  I had to grab my phone and snap a few pics.  It was just too adorable!!

Olive has been climbing into her toy box for a few weeks now, but the cardboard box seemed like a unique milestone in and of itself.  Don’t they say that boxes make the best toys??  I hope to nurture Olive’s imaginative play and look forward to sharing lots of adventures with her in the future…

And oh yes, Erik did return safely.  ;-)  He came back clutching a bunch of beautiful wildflowers he had picked for me on the trail.  He said he had to carry them for over an hour before they got back to the car!

I’m grateful to have him home, and grateful for a husband who still believes in romantic surprises.  :)

Thank you for stopping by the blog today!  I’m off to prep for a visit from my mom (yay!) and a fun project tomorrow.  I’ll be back again soon; there are some really exciting posts in the queue so stay tuned!

a special fair isle sweater for my Olive

I didn’t grow up knitting or sewing or doing anything remotely domestic, to tell you the truth.  I was consumed with my studies and my social life and I didn’t have anyone around me to teach me the domestic arts, if you will.  I jokingly tell people that I was raised by a very independent single (at the time) mother and now I’ve made up for it by reverting to a total 50′s housewife.  haha!  All kidding aside, I did find myself married at 21, fresh out of Berkeley armed with two impressive degrees, yet completely unable to run a household, grocery shop, or cook a proper meal from scratch (sorry Erik, for all the raw-in-the-middle and burnt-to-a-crisp chickens I served you that first year of marriage!!).  There was a part of me that really yearned to not only learn those skills, but master them.  I desired to be an amazing chef, a skilled seamstress, and an efficient manager of the home.  In pursuing them, I feel like I’ve really discovered a dormant part of my creative self.  As I discovered little successes along the way, I found such a joy and fulfillment.  Now there are few things I relish more than being in the kitchen in the late afternoons, chopping and stirring and creating delicious and healthy meals for my family.  When I sewed all of Olive’s bedding before she was born, I felt like I had painted the Sistene Chapel.  I couldn’t believe that I did it.  I used my two hands to make something.  It was worth it.

So last fall, I casually told Erik that I wanted to learn to knit.  I had seen some other friends around me begin to knit, and I wanted to acquire another craft that could be equal parts hobby and productive pursuit.  Knitting is relaxing in and of itself, but I like that after putting in the time, you end up with a tangible product.  My mind was spinning with the things I wanted to make!  After mentioning my desire to a few church ladies, they encouraged me to call a local yarn shop about lessons.  It turns out that the store has classes 6 days a week, on a drop-in basis.  You come in and the teacher will show you what to do, and then assist you on whatever project you bring in that day.  I still remember my first day in class, and how intimidated I was by the ladies sitting around the table, proficiently knitting and purling, with beautiful shawls and scarves growing from their needles.  I remember how I worked so slowly, asking my sweet teacher to show me again and again and again.  I remember taking this picture and posting it on Instagram, and being SO proud of my first few rows of knitting.

the first and last time i used bamboo needles ;-)

Well I kept going to class, week after week.  At that time, Olive would sleep in her carrier the entire length of class (2 hours) and I could get a great session in.  As she grew older and more mobile, the ladies encouraged me to keep coming and they would take turns playing with her while I knit.  Now I am still going to class 1x a week, sometimes 2x if I’m not too busy, and Erik will watch Olive so I can really get down to business.  Other than my time in class, I probably knit 30 minutes or less a day.  But in those stolen moments, I have been able to produce some projects that I’m truly proud of.  I have tackled fair isle (my favorite!), lace patterns, seaming, button holes, knitting in the round, hats, scarves of all kinds, sweaters, vests, ponchos and booties!  I enjoy learning a new skill with every pattern I take on.  I love my afternoons with the sweet ladies in my knitting group.  I am endlessly thankful for my patient teacher who has literally taught me everything I know.  ;-)

Erik now admits that he had no idea how serious I was about wanting to learn to knit; it has become a passion of mine and I am so glad I took the leap to learn!

SO fun to look back at some of my projects over the last 8 months

New skills I hope to add to my repertoire soon include cables, intarsia, and felting.  If you are a knitter (or crocheter), you can find me on Ravelry (login required).  Otherwise, I look forward to sharing my projects here and on Instagram.

Is there anything YOU want to learn to do (or learn to do better)??  Let me know in the comments… Let’s encourage each other to make it happen this year!

Here are the sweet memories that marked Olive’s 13th month of life…

• Olive definitely has an adventurous spirit, on display anytime she is free to roam (aka run and climb) at home or in public.  Erik taught her to climb our stairs (we have sixteen) and she can scale them in seconds.  It is incredible!  No spills yet… but rest assured we only allow her on the stairs when we are directly behind her supervising the climbing.  ;-)
• Olive is extremely vocal and I am amazed by her ability to pick up new words and phrases after hearing them only a couple of times.  It is so fascinating to watch her little mind mature and develop!  A favorite word of mine is “clean.”  Whenever we say it, she picks up her toys and puts them into her toybox, and then immediately claps to applaud her obedience.  It is hilarious!
• Her favorite foods include buttered peas, bacon, eggs (scrambled), most forms of bread/tortillas/Cheerios (I tried to hold out on refined carbs but she just loves them… hard to blame her!), and my green smoothies!
• We held another birthday party for Olive on 3/17 for our church family.  It took place at a dear friend’s country home and was so lovely.  I reused a lot of the décor from the big party, kept the menu simple with yummy pizzas and a salad, and got a beautiful cake + cupcakes from Enjoy Cupcakes.  I am truly grateful for our wonderful local church and how they have surrounded our family with so much love and encouragement.
• We attended the 1st birthday party of Olive’s friend-from-the-womb Blake — daughter of Melody of Sweet and Saucy Shop.  I am so blessed to have Mel and many other cherished mommy friends in my life.  We had a wonderful time!
• I took Olive to her first Love & Splendor meetings (by very special request of the clients! NOT de rigueur for me…).  Olive was completely cooperative and loved meeting my clients (watching her with them melted my heart all day) as well as the staff at the three properties we toured.  At each stop, she was given toys, books, smoothies, and of course lots of attention!  I was so impressed by the special care given to her and it reaffirmed my belief that excellent client care goes a LONG way.  I wonder if Olive will fall in love with the wedding industry one day??

It was a busy and wonderful month!  Here are some of my favorite snapshots from this month…

I hope you are all having a fabulous week so far!  My dad is in town for a quick visit, and I am feverishly working on some upcoming projects + weddings.  I’ll be back to share more soon.  Thank you for stopping by; enjoy your day!

Although I am blessed to have a very flexible day-to-day schedule, making the distinction between weekday and weekend less prominent, I still get excited when Saturday morning rolls around…  I want to chop and blend and bake a fancy breakfast!  And blow dry my hair!  I just get an extra boost of energy for errands and adventures.  And if I’m honest, most errands feel like adventures because I get to go out!  :)  This weekend’s project includes massive office organization, and I am excited to purge old files, buy pretty new storage totes and folders, and create a more tranquil workspace!

Our cherished friends Cary & Ryan Ray are in town so we have loved hanging with them (Olive especially)!  With their visit and lots of wedding work, I didn’t get to post as much this week.  Looking forward to diving back in next week!  Thank you for stopping by — I hope you have an amazing weekend!  xoxo

P.S. photo above is of the newest tunic top/vest I knitted for Olive.  You can see her modeling it on my Instagram!  xoxo, Angel

photo by Ryan Ray // venue: Flying Caballos Ranch in San Luis Obispo, CA

In a previous entry, I went over the importance of setting a budget.  Once you have determined the size and scale of your celebration, you have the exciting task of selecting the setting.  What will it be: a chic seaside soirée or an elegant garden luncheon?  Will you dance the night away under ornate chandeliers in a dramatically tented canopy, or beneath the stars in a wild and overgrown field??  The possibilities are endless.  I often tell brides that as multifaceted individuals, we may be drawn to many options.  I know that I could plan a dozen weddings for myself: from a clean and modern affair at a loft, to a charming Cape Cod clambake, to an opulent fête at a French chateau, to a snowy mountaintop celebration complete with post-dinner s’mores…  I am drawn to many types of scenes and settings.  My style isn’t singularly defined.  That said, most of us are only going to have one wedding.  (Can I get an amen on a vow renewal, though?  I keep telling Erik that we’re having a 10-year vow renewal…  Sweetie, if you’re reading this, we really are.  ;-))  You will ultimately have to choose what type of wedding you want to host, and where it will be.  Here are my tips on how to hone in on the perfect place to say, “I do!”

photo by The Image is Found // venue: Saddlerock Ranch in Malibu, CA

photo by Jose Villa // venue: San Ysidro Ranch in Montecito, CA

1) Budget: First things first, you have to check the budget.  If you know your overall wedding budget is $20k, it is probably unwise to look into sites that charge $10k rental fees… unless you’re having 50 people and the In-N-Out truck (and hey, that sounds grand to me!).  Ideally you are embarking on this process with a great wedding planner who will have helped you draw up a realistic budget.  Some magazines or books will give percentages on how much to allocate for the venue rental, but you can guess how I feel about their arbitrary guesstimates.  ;-)  Until you build a complete budget based on your priorities and expectations, you can’t really know how much you can spend on your venue.  It is going to vary widely based on what you value most for the big day.  Nonetheless, you need to start with an idea of what you can spend on the site rental fee, and take into consideration what it includes.  Some venues include tables, chairs, and catering, while others provide nothing but permission to celebrate on their gorgeous property.  Determining the allocation for the budget requires you to know what it takes to actually hold an event at that property.  Are there “hidden” fees like required shuttles, valet parking, and/or security?  Do you have to bring in your own restrooms and/or power?  These things need to be taken into consideration before you sign on the dotted line.

2) Guest count: How many people do you want to have with you on the wedding day?  While some say “the more the merrier,” others yearn for a more intimate celebration.  I encourage clients to write out a thorough guest list together, then go through and revise a couple times before settling on a guest count.  If your priority is to have the most people possible there with you, your venue selection will include consideration of space, cost per head, etc.  If your priority is to get married at an ultra luxe resort property, you may want to trim back the guest list to accommodate the budget.  If others are contributing to the wedding budget (e.g. parents), it is wise to consult them on their guest list expectations before you set your heart on a venue.  Trust me — handling these kinds of conversations as early as possible is the way to go, to avoid as much drama and heartbreak as possible.

3) The Scene: What type of site do you have in mind?  Do you desire particular views or a certain setting?  I think seeing so many fabulous weddings over the years has given me an appreciation for all types of venues.  Whether it’s a coastal private estate or a perfectly worn-in rustic barn, a five-star hotel or a sleek “blank canvas” warehouse, there is something for everyone out there.  Narrow in one the type of space you’d like for your wedding.  Some couples may prefer a venue that can accommodate both indoor and outdoor celebrations.  If you are worried about inclement weather and are averse to tenting (because you honestly just never know…), you may want to seek out a site that has an indoor space as a back up plan.  Other couples prefer the convenience of having a resort host their wedding because their guests can simply walk from their hotel rooms to the festivities.  This also is helpful for a destination wedding where guests are going to enjoy successive days of events.  Perhaps it is vital for you to marry at a certain church.  You will need to consider the distance to your reception venue from the church, how guests will get there, and how long it might take for that post-ceremony travel.

4) The Rules & Restrictions: Make sure to carefully review ALL of the paperwork that comes with any venue.  Here is another place a planner can assist you in reviewing the site restrictions and relay any information gained from experience at the property.  You will want to understand the amount of time you have access to the site (for set-up, strike, and the event itself), any forbidden items or vendors (e.g. amplified music after a certain hour, open flames, sparklers, smoking, hard alcohol, etc.), any required vendors (e.g. valet, security, additional site management), extra fees (e.g. cleaning fee, use of kitchen or other optional spaces, dancefloor rental, etc.), upgrade costs (e.g. different linens or chairs, cost of bringing in your own cake vs. the one made by the in-house caterer), etc. etc. etc.  I really could go on and on here!  Before you commit, make sure that you are OK with the rules and restrictions for your favorite site. I’ve had clients hire me after securing a venue, only to be shocked by the “hidden” fees we uncover (that were actually plainly written into their contracts).  If you don’t understand the legalese of some of the paperwork, ask!  :)

5) The Reaction: After you’ve confirmed that your dream site is within the budget, has acceptable rules and restrictions, will comfortably accommodate all of your guests and has just the look you are going for, you’re ready to book.  And for many couples, the venue hunt starts + ends with a reaction.  I will never, ever forget the first time I drove up the driveway at Saddlerock Ranch in Malibu in 2005.  I was speechless as I drove past the beautiful zebras and horses galloping…  The rolling vine-covered hills and idyllic white picket fences… It actually brought tears to my eyes!  haha  Now after planning dozens and dozens of weddings at this special site, I STILL get that magic feeling when I pull through the gates.  I had a similar reaction visiting the Montage Laguna Beach last week, where staff greets you with a tray of champagne, a sample of gourmet cheese from their in-house fromager, and sweeping views of the ocean everywhere you turn.  I can recall the excitement that filled my heart as I first stepped into the courtyard of Smog Shoppe in Culver City, like I was entering a secret club in this urban oasis.  I was instantly obsessed with their wall of succulents and reclaimed wood furniture.  Those first reactions are going to tell you if it’s the right place for you and your love to make the most sacred vows to one another.

Although there may be many places that catch your eye, I hope that all of you ultimately find *the place* that is perfect for you!  :)

photo by Ryan Ray // venue: Ojai Valley Inn & Spa in Ojai, CA

photo by Jose Villa // venue: 3 Stones in Napa, CA

photo by Trista Lerit // venue: Bacara Resort in Goleta, CA

photo by Braedon Flynn // venue: Smog Shoppe in Culver City, CA

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I hope this was helpful to some of you out there!  (If it was, please let me know! ;-))  If you are still planning your wedding, let me know if there is any topic you’d like to hear about.

If you’re already married, I’d love to hear in the comments where you got married and why you picked the place that you did!

See you all again soon!  xoxo, Angel